oh hey. been a few days since my last post. i had a lot of things i mentally took note of to mention here. but of course, i have no earthly idea what they were...
i've been remarkably busy lately and it's nice to get a moment to breath and recuperate. i was so exhausted last week, keeping up with school is the main culprit in that. i feel so mentally drained after classes im surprised my brain hasnt all but turned into mush. maybe 2 classes and a lab isnt such a good idea...but im pretty sure the date to drop anything has passed already so im kinda stuck here. i dunno how i'll make it to august but it'll be worth it in the end im sure. the between stuff is just the hardest to both understand and tackle while you're stuck in it. and i just have to remember that. come august i WILL have A's in my classes and i WILL be ready to take the PCAT and GRE so help me God.
maybe it's the whole school exhaustion thing, or the people i am missing who have pieces of my heart in distant states, but i've been in an odd mood lately. it's like im goin and goin and goin, tryin to keep up a good pace and keep up with everything going on and it's... kind of a lifeless feeling honestly. so much happening and im sort of...just there. which is sad. and needs to change. for all my talk about really living each day of your life, im pretty much a hypocrite. i tell everyone to get as much as you can out of each day and yet i slip ever so easily into having each day pass me by without really cherishing the gift that is life. i forget to take moments and just...be. be happy, be breathing, be in the sun's warmth, be laughing... i spend too much time lost in troubled thoughts and brooding over things that shouldn't matter that much, things that pale in comparison to what my mind should be focusing on instead.
i remember a couple years ago, i just soaked everything in. took every solitary moment to reflect and meditate on the awesomeness that is life, love, and relationships...relationships with family, with friends, with God, with His creation, and even with acquaintances who happen to have the same downtime in the library. even the walks between classes were enough to rejuvenate me and have me smiling. and i let that aspect about how i live my life drift away. not intentionally of course. but here i am. acknowledging that i need change. that i need to bring back that part of me that brought me so much happiness. a happiness i have forgotten how to enjoy. to walk outside, and just take on life with a smile and an understanding that you only get one shot at this, and to not value every single thing about it is a horrible, horrible waste.
hmm...ive accidentally just poured out my heart to you. i was just planning on catching you up on my life events and events to come. but i guess my fingertips knew what i needed instead.
and now i only have one thing to add:
Wii dance is the best invention ever and ridiculous amounts of fun and you need to play it! it's also a lil bit of a workout. it's the secret to life: wii dance
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