speak to me, speak those words

"It is strange to think, I haven't seen you since a month. I have seen the new moon, but not you. I have seen sunsets and sunrises, but nothing of your beautiful face. The pieces of my broken heart are so small that they could be passed through the eye of a needle. I miss you like the sun misses the flower; like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter. Instead of beauty to direct its light to, the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to. I next compete in the city of Paris, I will find it empty and in the winter if you are not there. Hope guides me, that is what gets me through the day and the night. The hope that after you're gone from my sight, it will not be the last time that I look upon you.

with all the love i possess..."

askdjf;ksaljg;

so im kinda stressing out right now, and my roommate just offered me all of her ice cream.

i suddenly remembered in psych 340 today that bulimic ppl think like this: "today sucked, i'm going home and eating a whole cake." direct quote from my teacher.

...i think like that.

katie lady

50 nifty...questions

so im supposed to be writing a proposal right now...but i just dont want to. so i will procrastinate...with a survey from melanie's fbk. i know, pshhh who does these anymore right?...so number 1...

1. What color is your toothbrush?
it is blue and red and yellow toothbrush with animals on it, thanks to tina =]

2. Name one person who made you smile today?
my mom

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
finishing up my 10 mile morning run...pshh no i was dreaming

4, What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
reading a text book, so exciting no?

5. What is your favorite candy bar?
hm...a twmouhershkateese....

6. Have you ever been to a strip club?
i work there.

7. What is the last thing you said aloud?
ciao

8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Mint Chocolate Chip

10. Do you like your wallet?
yes! it's made out of cards!...it's also been recently run over but that doesnt mean i love it any less

11. What was the last thing you ate?
a banana and mac and cheese

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
no but someone sent me a vera cruz spain jersey today!!!!

13. The last sporting event you watched?
like live? or on tv? let's go with tv...i think the chelsea game...o wait i watched a little bit of the celtics game

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
kettle corn! yummmm

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?
meredith

16. Ever go camping?
i want to! i havent ever legit gone camping....who wants to help me change that? i mean i sleep in my sleeping bag a lot these days....that's the closest i get

17. Do you take vitamins daily?
not since they were flintstone ones

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?
::guilty face::

19. Do you have a tan?
im white as snow.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
hmmm i like them both equally

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?
if there happens to be one provided then yes. and if it is a crazy straw, then you have one happy camper...but of course that would be false because ive never been camping...pay attention.

22. What did your last text message say?
something bout pickin up meredith on my way to hc. too lazy to go look at it. arms length away is simply too much.

23. What are you doing tomorrow?
who knows. lunch at olive garden though for anna's birthday!!!!

24. Mountains or the beach?
hmmm beach?...

25. Look to your left, what do you see?
a shrine to you, ahem, what? i mean. a piano.

26. What color is your watch?
i wear only 2. a white one from france...or norway, i forget. and a brown one from good ol USofA

27. What do you think of when you hear Australia?
hugh jackman shirtless.

28. What is your birthstone?
Topaz

29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
usually the drive thru. even if i am not in my car. yes, it has happened a few times.

30. What is your favorite number? 14

31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
bernadette

32. Any plans today?
i got plenty of plans. plans to do great things, plans to take over the world...but they will always only be plans. today specifically i would like to watch princess and the frog again. now that plan folks, will become a reality.

33. How many states have you lived in?
uno

34. Biggest annoyance right now?
this proposal

35. Last song listened to?
cuando estas conmigo by reik

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?
nope

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?
i wish...we do in the philippines!

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
my bare feet. im a hobbit...but i wear chucks a lot.

39. Are you jealous of anyone?
maybe, but jealousy wont get me anywere

40. Is anyone jealous of you?
everyone. jk, im not vain. i have no idea

41. Do you love anyone?
i do.

42. Do any of your friends have children?
just illegitimate ones in aruba.

43. What do you usually do during the day?
a random and varied assortment of shenanigans. along with school, reading, and geetah playin

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
hate is a strong word. i dont hate.

45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
no, but i say ciao a lot.

46. What color is your car?
silver

47. Do you like cats?
i prefer dogs

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?
you duh

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
yep

50. How did you get your worst scar?
hm....define worse? my most memorable ones: one from running into an iron, one from surgery, one from a car accident, and one from hitting a high jump standard.

dang over already? o well...nap time? nap time.

skype hype

yea i know ive been so slack with my blog lately. apologies!
today i have only 2 things to tell you

1. i must start wearing spf 94209384029530932 so as to not appear to have, um, switched ethnicity. and to appease my father.
2. i am the only person on earth who does not have skype. that changes tmrw. sorry to everyone who sent me facebook messages this past year containing the link to downloading skype and im doing it only just now...it was mostly cuz i dont have a web cam. but i can get one, i just never picked it up from the guy. and today i feel like everyone talked about skyping with so and so. and i want in!!!

"we seldom know what we're hearing when we hear something for the first time, but one thing is certain: we hear it as we will never hear it again. we return to the moment to experience it, i suppose, but we can never really find it, only its memory, the faintest imprint of what it really was, what it meant" --let the great world spin

currently

lana is doing work out videos, and i am sitting on the couch eating and cheering her on. that's true love folks.

more current:
candle: sweet pea, christmas cookie
tea: vanilla rooibos latte, green tea
book: let the great world spin by colum mccann, only a few pages in but i love the way he writes
snack of choice: crackers and pimento cheese, nutella and animal crackers
workout time: 7:30 AM baby!
napping place: sleeping bag on the couch
plans for tonight: intramurals, game of pool with melanie, and new moon with lana and melanie, gee-tah, reading
frustration: the easy mac cheese bags dont have the side cuts to help you open them
song paused on pandora: aint no reason, brett dennen
test i need to study for next week: psychology
tabs open on my brower: pandora, blog, facebook, ultimate-guitar tabs for steve moakler and hey soul sister, texts from last night, LFC
project to do: group project for eng 314
person i need to call: leah
thing i really need to do: clean my room
thing i want to get rid of: the headache i still have =/
thing i want to do: fill out the census drunk
shampoo: herbal essences hello hydration
dreams and aspirations: to steal the wheels off of homeless people's shopping carts.
thing i want to take back: above answer, im not that mean, i wouldnt do that
joy: this beautiful weather and beautiful friends!
object calling my name: twister
crush: wouldn't you like to know ;]
dilemma: blue wire or the red wire
right ok, i need to stop this now. ciao ciao

cold mondee

you wanna know how cruel the world is?
i just saw a teddy bear strapped to the top of some car.
THAT cruel.

also, i found myself sitting in bio102 this morning, listenin to some british lady talk about assless chickens. at first i wondered why in the hell i ever bothered to go to this class...but then she started talking about the percentage of people who have hearing loss...and i realized that really is one of my greatest fears. to lose my hearing. to strum a guitar and helpessly put my hand on it just to feel the vibrations...a silent breaking of the heart.

so today started with a morning workout with melanie. so proud of us...except ive been snacking all day...so really dunno how much working out helped me. but ive got an ultimate frisbee game tonight, maybe that'll help knock some calories out. and what am i doing on an ultimate team in the advanced league? NO idea. cuz im a crap frisbee thrower...person.

well, off to watch roddick play in the semifinals! and blackburn VS chelsea (soccer)!! ...on mute, while i study physics =/

clay doves

i like to think im that cool kid at the coffee shop reading something intellectual, with the perfectly styled hair, one hand on a steaming beverage, the other caressing the spine and pages of a book. with a smooth and suave air of confidence, and a gaze that sees deeper than the lyrics of chill coffee house songs.

but im really that clumsy kid, i just like to think a lot of things.

ps- uncle larry, im praying for you.

"that's what writers do, we put pen to paper in times of devastating tragedy. we just write to make sense of it. maybe we'll find clarity in some of those words...maybe we'll find peace"--OTH

i love the screenwriters of one tree hill. well, time for tea with melanie then bedtime. and yes, it is before 10 oclock. check us into an old people home. a room with a scenic view preferably. and a koolaid waterfountain.

oooh 300 is on.....drool...

and if you walked into our apt right now...me and mel would be doing a jig to this:

here comes the sun

"Through frequent facebook breaks from research, I have found that everyone is either a)lamenting bracket failures or b)feeding virtual cows" --melanie's fbk status

top o' the morning to ya. beautiful day. im itching to go layout at IOP before i hang out with mom later. high of 72 and sunny...but i think im actually gunna hit my physics book instead. someone out there better be proud of me for that decision!

also, katie keith, i had another weird dream, im gunna need you to help me figure out what it means. the only thing i can think of is that i need to not mess with bipolar old ladies.

same ol' bum routine

i quite literally don't know what to do with myself right now.

i'm thinkin i will end up on the couch mindlessly eating chips and watching tv/movies. i'll go ahead and apologize to those of you who will undoubtedly get texts containing quotes of whatever it is i am watching. and my choices are really only like 2 of you. i'm so popular.

(well i ended up not texting much cuz i watched tennis, nba, and ncaa till i fell asleep on the couch)

how to

start off a good morning? by having an abrupt, painful meeting between your elbow and a door frame. nothing like a string of profanities to begin today's vocabulary.
and then to put in a rather large load of laundry into the washing machine only to see the note left by your parents after you finish the load saying that the dryer stopped working yesterday and dad won't pick out a new one till tomorrow.
so now hanging up all of my clothes on a clothes line i have fashioned out of strings and poles i excavated from the depths of our shed.
but i did find about 20 one dollar bills at the bottom of the wash that i suppose fell out of my pockets...you'd think i was a stripper.
and then, in my attempt to salvage a box of old pictures from the inner closet of my closet, i single handedly brought down a monstrosity of a pile of random crap. including my old razor scooter which was somehow situated on top of the pile and decided that as it fell it would like to make contact with the frontal lobe of my head.
and when all was said and done, the something that i thought i battled off yesterday with tea tried to launch a direct attack on my immune system via sneezes and a need for kleenex and throat lozenges.
regardless of this morning's fiasco i am still determined to try and make this day a good day.

"you can't play on broken strings"

my fingers have never yearned more for the strings of my guitar...which is up at clemson, quite far out of my reach. but my feet have finally felt the charleston sand again, and my ears have embraced the crash of the east coast ocean waves. yet my heart was still lacking.

cheese. pimento cheese. oddly enough, pimento cheese froze time. the distance between my mouth and the crackers topped with pimento cheese was a lot shorter than the distances i was about to create. it was a slight comfort. physically and mentally. but a couple scoops of pimento cheese can only last for so long.

"see i'm all about them words"...

..."Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive"

--You and I Both, Jason Mraz

i want to learn this song on piano but cant find any tutorials =/ and i dunno how to read music anymore...anyone want to help me?

Spell it out in a song,
Bet you never catch on to my weakness
I’m singing every word for you.
Here I’m thinking I’m sly
Then you’re catching my eye, and just maybe
You’re thinking what I’m thinking too

I'm falling more in love.
With every single word I withhold.
I'm falling more in love.
With every single word you say.
I'm falling head-over-heels for you.

I've been dancing on the tops of buildings.
At the top of my lungs I'm singing you a song.

whew...im exhausted from studying =/ time to read a lil with some music scores. i deserve a break...i think i will pick up studying later tonight, i am fried in the cranial department. but raquetball with my bif today! huzzah!

"How many hundreds of thousands of fingers brushing against each other does it take to make love?"
-extremely loud and incredibly close

.....yup still reading it. im only a little more than half way through. some other books i may read...anybody read em yet?:
The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
So Brave, Young and Handsome - Leif Enger... See More
The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky
Diary - Chuck Palahniuk
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - Jean-Dominique Bauby
The Reader - Bernhard Schlink

oh english 314...

stop motion

took a short detour while doing my english project to learn how to do stop motion movies using adobe premier elements. who wants to film one with me! they can be pretty fun!

it's ok reds

"you'll never stand alone" - LFC

the end of missing someone

"I like to see people reunited, maybe that’s a silly thing, but what can I say, I like to see people run into each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can’t tell fast enough, the ears that aren’t big enough, the eyes that can’t take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone."

-Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

if you were a status, i'd like you

i made it to class on a friday morning at 8 o clock in the morning...i deserve a dundie.

also i am contemplating another run...if death shall befall me i pray the heavenly Father welcomes me with open arms and gatorade.

...and that's all i got. for now. off to starbucks to get melanie something to help her finish her paper!!! just to watch her finish it then leave me. why would she want to go home. it's only her father's birthday, i am clearly more important. (tell padre ephraim i said happy day of your birth for me! and tell madre joy i would love to get coffee again, and tell david i miss him, and tell sadie...that since she has my personality and is adorable i am considering thinking that cats can be cute, and sing to christine that phantom song) can you handle that?

by the way FCA PETTING ZOO was both a success, judging by the wtf? looks we got haha, and HILARIOUS. i'll prolly put up the pics melissa took soon. i must say, brittany in a chicken suite will leave you gasping for air due to copious amounts of laughter, and that i could watch a guy in a gorilla suit chase a guy in a banana suit outside tillman for hours on end.

(915): I told you I was good to drive
(1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

melanie:" i feel like that's something we would do...you being the one with the paper plate"

candy hearts and rice crispies

the girls in my small group are awesome. AWESOME.each one of them radiates God's love and are such beautiful daughters of Christ. I still stand by the short testimony i shared with FCA that one thursday night last spring. I may not have been able to look all of you girls each in the eye as i spoke. in fact all i saw were lights really. but know that my heart reached out to each and every one of you as i spoke of the impact you made in my life. and you and the lights were the same really. both shine so bright. both wrapped me up with a unique warmth. i am forever thankful for the blessing you girls are to me. i have had the pleasure of growing with you these past years, and when i look back on college, my small group will always be one of the things that stands out.

"When you love somebody, you don't love them for you. You love them for them. When you love somebody, you don't love them because they make you happy or they make you smile, you love them for them. And when you love somebody, there is no end." --Amber Standridge

Lana, i'm so happy you came to small group tonight. and thank you for finding beauty in what i write. it fuels me to believe in the things i truly am passionate about. don't you ever forget how wonderful and caring you are. it sets you apart. your spirit is bursting with love and creativity. and you are far less than ordinary.

and remember how God is faithful, and He will prove His faithfulness again and again and again. and we find peace and hope in that, knowing that He is far greater than anything in this world.

i saw a picture today that said "love me when i least deserve it, for that's when i need it most" it's so frustrating to care so much for someone who doesn't reciprocate it. but don't give up. don't ever give up.

and i wrapped up my heart and sent it to you

there's a song i have on repeat. and you'll never know what it is. just like the whispers you'll never hear, the words your eyes will never see, and the glances your heart will never catch. even when my eyes are fixed on the distance, it's you they're looking for. my heart still hopes though. it's always hoping. and seasons will change and time will take its course, and my heart will still be hoping. and this song will still be playing. and maybe someday the wind will carry its notes, and those notes will find their way to you. then maybe you'll turn your head and your eyes will have that same, yet completely new, look. and my heart, its empty spaces filled, will beat anew and in tune with yours. and those three words will escape our lips, and those lips will touch, and sparks will illuminate the night sky. and then maybe you'll hear that song in its entirety for the first time, the one that was always playing just for you. or maybe these maybe's...may never come to be, and i'll be left standing here, a broken record in my hands, and empty spaces between my fingers, matched only by the empty spaces between the crevices of my heart.

don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me

"There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me."

happy humpday, im sitting here trying to decide whether to finish my english project, nap, or hit up fike. my recent decision (it oscillates between nap or work, nap or fike, nap or...you get the point)is to do english then hit up some sort of physical activity. lana has invited me to maybe run isaqueena trails. to my relief she added, "and by running, i mean fat boy jogging." now she's speaking my language.

if you see my feet sticking out of a bush on the side of the road, kindly drag me out and return to owner. owner being...let's see melanie preferably, since lana will be passed out in a bush further up the road.

by the way, any ideas for a blue duck costume?!?!

"Billy Madison: Well, I made the duck blue because I'd never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.
Miss Lippy: Well, I think it's an excellent blue duck. Congratulations Billy, you just passed the first grade.
Billy Madison: Wow, Miss Lippy, that's great. What do you think of that Mr. Blue Duck?
[pretending to be duck]
Billy Madison: That's quacktastic."

so i guess i'll go running then. yea, i'll just....zzzzZZZZzzzz

insane canon rock version


trans siberian orchestra's version is phenomenal too, and i like Zox's version as well,ronald jenkees remix and trace bundy's acoustic version are also aight. mike strickland's piano version is classy. if you cant tell i love canon in D and all interpretations of it. it's just so beautiful.

and i think this is fun, starting at around 23 seconds


and this is random


and this is cute and we are having a scheduled dance party to learn this tonight. in fact we should all have a dance party at least once per day

you said that words could only get you so far

snow snow snow!

last snow of the season!!!! cant wait =D please don't disappoint weather ;]

taking a break from my english project...what to do with my break...how about finish

CHAPTER 10

actually ya know what? it's finally time to keep my promise to my aunt.

CHAPTER 1

this is for you, you who encouraged me to eventually write this. i've let the story simmer for a while. and i almost dropped it all together. it was hard to think i would ever do this when you're not here with me ya know...but this nostalgic air is all too perfect to not think you're giving me a little push, helping my fingers fly over the keys. so here i go. im not scared anymore. and i miss you always and every day. but i know you will always live in my heart and in the pages i am about to write. this is for you.

how i do

working on my english project and i remembered a cartoon i saw on my cousin mike's blog.