yet untitled

Blue lights. But they’re not for me. They make my heart skip a beat even seconds after their glow passes. My car finds the highway and grabs the road with desperate hands. Liquid emotion couples with a total disregard for the speed limit and my vision blurs. I glance down at the dash and watch the meter spring forth, paralleled only by the rising level of the stereo’s volume. The darkness keeps coming at me as I am wrapped up in the music’s embrace, serenaded by the emotions it stirs up in me. A text. From worried roommates. Im too caught up in the rush to notice. Then another text. This time from an old flame. It too goes unnoticed. Before I know it I’m in two places at once, and the moment passes as quickly as it came. I pull the reigns and point my steed home. I long to feel something other than that which caused me to journey, so again I push the gas and keep a steady pace, surprised that no blue lights came to seek me out. But as the car shakes reality grips me and I cast away the robe of naïve invincibility. I notice the vibrations of missed texts. And am set back by one of them. What compels you to think of me sir? Another text. A new one. From someone I should’ve seen first. Rather than test fate. Oh well. The damage is done. And I survived. The stupidity of my actions sets in but I am unmoved and indifferent, a stoic expression set on my face. One stop before home, a gas station. I settle for a lighter and kicks. Smoke two at a lone table surrounded by fountains, my breath nearly as thick as the smoke as I exhale. So cold. Yet I don’t shiver. The lamp lights flicker on and off as I stare long and hard at some random hole in the table, my thoughts anywhere but there. Then the stars catch my attention, and point me home. To a warm bed. Where I lie awake. Still.